Custody after separation or divorce: what applies?
After a separation, the question quickly arises: who decides about the child from now on? Important to know: joint custody does not automatically end with the separation. Sole custody exists only under certain conditions.
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What you should do now
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1. Clarify the starting situation
Is there joint custody? Is it about all areas or only individual ones (e.g. residence, health)?
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2. Try to reach an agreement
An amicable arrangement is almost always better and faster than a dispute in court.
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3. Advice at the youth office
The youth office advises and mediates free of charge on custody and contact questions.
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4. Application to the court
If it does not work amicably, a parent can apply to the family court for a transfer (§ 1671 BGB); the standard is the child's welfare.
Frequently asked questions
Do I automatically get sole custody after the separation?
No. For married parents, joint custody generally continues after separation and divorce. Sole custody must be applied for at the family court and is only granted if it best corresponds to the child's welfare (§ 1671 BGB). But the caring parent decides everyday matters alone.
Who decides with joint custody?
For matters of significant importance (e.g. choice of school, major medical interventions), both parents must decide jointly. Everyday matters are decided by the parent with whom the child lives. If the parents cannot agree on an important question, the court can transfer the decision-making authority to one parent.
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General information for self-help, not legal advice (RDG). In case of a high loss or uncertainty: contact a consumer advice center or a lawyer.