Unmarried parents: who has custody?
With unmarried parents, custody is regulated differently than for married couples. Who decides about the child, and how does the father get into joint custody? Here are the most important routes.
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What you should do now
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1. Clarify the starting situation
Without marriage/declaration of custody, the mother initially has sole custody.
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2. Make a declaration of custody
For joint custody, make both declarations of custody at the youth welfare office/notary (free at the youth welfare office).
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3. Clarify paternity
Often the acknowledgment of paternity is needed beforehand.
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4. Court if necessary
If the mother refuses consent, the father can apply for joint custody at the family court.
Frequently asked questions
Who has custody if the parents are not married?
Initially the mother alone. Joint custody arises only when both parents make matching declarations of custody, marry or the family court transfers joint custody (§ 1626a BGB). The declarations of custody you can make free of charge at the youth welfare office.
What can the father do if the mother does not consent?
He can apply for joint custody at the family court. The court transfers it if this does not conflict with the child's welfare; the hurdles here are not high. Often the acknowledgment of paternity is required beforehand. Advice at the youth welfare office helps to take the steps correctly.
Take action now
We put together the ready-made texts and the right places to contact for you.
General information for self-help, not legal advice (RDG). In case of a high loss or uncertainty: contact a consumer advice center or a lawyer.